I love being able to stay home with my kids- but, it makes me go crazy sometimes. I have this deep need for solitude sometimes.. and it never happens. Alone. Totally alone.
Solo. Just me. And maybe Cheeba. He's like an appendage. 24 hours. 12 hours. Heck, give me a solid 8 with a good book, a pretty location and NO ONE within 100 miles.
Here's the kicker- I also have this itch to go go go all the time.
I get stir crazy. The needed structure of mom life doesn't jive so well with my natural instincts of "just go with whatever happens and never make plans and organization is dumb and let's just do whatever we feel like" It's a huge internal battle! I'm not even kidding.
My days are very much the same. Cook, drive, clean, drive, cook, clean. Of course there is lots of playing and activities and good stuff in there- but for the most part/ that's the frame of my day. Honestly- at this very moment if I knew how to haul the trailer, I would be in the woods with a great book (or 4) totally alone. I'm fairly social except when I'm not and then I'm really really anti social.
Problem.
Dev works all day, all week. So he LIKES to be home and do nothing and hang out with us all because he hasn't been all week. Could we be on more opposites? He has no desire to go go go or to be alone. Because he kind of has been alone. Apparently work people don't count? Who knows.
Someone solve my problem please. :)
We are a week into school and I'm going nutso.
I highly suggest celebrating a holiday I like to call MEVE. It's short for Mother's Day Eve. I love my kids but, I too need to be alone sometimes. Anyway, Mother's Day is great but it's not really that special of a day I feel because it's the Sabbath and I can't do anything so the day before, I take the entire day to myself. I wake up early and get ready! I usually hit up a movie at some point and run into all sorts of people who feel sorry for me because I'm alone, until I politely decline their offers to sit with them because it's MY day. Plus when I'm watching, I can bawl like a baby or laugh hysterically and I don't have to deal with my darling husband staring or laughing at me. Then I go shopping and buy myself whatever the heck I want and eat delicious food all day. In peace. By myself. It's my new favorite holiday. I highly recommend it. ;)
ReplyDeleteoh Nichole I just love you!! the stay at home mom thing is a struggle.... I have gotten super lazy, have caused my own state of depression, have become a terrible procrastinator... I have all these great ideas of going to the gym , going on walks, making awesome snacks and dinners for the fam, and in all reality Im lucky to get a few loads of laundry done and a shower.... I don't like to haul Knoxx around all day long so I try and do all errands before his nap at 10:30 which rarely happens so I put it off for another day which turns into breakfast with no milk and shoot Im now out of diapers.... I want a social life besides kids but then again like doing my own thing and when I want :) if you ever need a sitter during the day you let me know!! maybe we can take turns and have a little time for ourselves... this is a lot of rambling sorry lol
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