Sunday, April 28, 2013

Sunday Rant Part II

Is ranting breaking the sabbath?? Hope not.
It's probably an unwritten rule that you shouldn't blog when angry/frustrated.
But I am,and I'm going to blog anyways.
I'm 1st councillor in YWs. All is well.
In February our ward had some switch ups and we got a new RS presidency- leaving the Primary with no chorister. Yikes! Right?! That's fairly major and needed and necessary.
They asked me and another YW counselor to cover music time for a bit until someone was called. No problem. Happy to help. And I genuinely am.
It is now nearly May. We still don't have a chorister. The effort has been made. The calling has been extended multiple times and then nicely declined. I don't know the who's- or the why's- but holy moly it frustrated the living day lights out of me.
For one- who says NO to a church calling?!?
Remember how the LDS church is this massive organization that functions solely on volunteers???!
SOOO... In what world is saying NO allowed?! See previous post on my thoughts on being willing to accept callings.
For two- our primary presidency has been in for a long time. One just had a baby- goes to school full time and works FULL TIME! You want to battle with her about how busy you are?? You will lose and feel like the fool you are.
Another one is about to have baby 4 and has been in the primary organization for 6 years- possibly longer. 6 years straight. Not any intermediate callings in between. Primary. Achievement days. Primary. Primary presidency. The 3rd member of the current presidency is about on the verge of a serious breakdown. I hope she doesn't read my blog. But it is a justified meltdown. Her little person just came into sunbeams in Jan. the transition is NOT going well to say the least.
These ladies, along with some fantastic teachers (Dev has been faithfully teaching the 10&11 yr olds for a long time)and wonderful pianist come and teach our children with love and patience. They spend precious time on lessons and sharing times, they have magnified their callings. I am realistic- i know that Primary is hard. If you are a parent with primary aged children Sunday is a nice "break" a chance for seldom adult interaction- a breather from the world of children and all that comes with it. If you are older maybe you feel like your primary dues have been paid- or that it has been so long since you dealt with those 12 and under that you would have NO idea what to do. I think primary should have clear lines of expectations and a well defined "finish line" But I am convinced that our current primary have been forgotten about. If it ain't broke don't fix it attitude. That's not ok. Their willingness is being taken advantage of. Their organization has been pushed to the bottom of the priority list.
Point of my rant #3- primary is more important then what most people think. That right there makes me MAD and I think is the root of the problem.
You know who the teenagers are that are most set in their faith? The ones who attended primary. Of course so many other factors play into that- but Primary is the foundation for a lifetime of gospel learning and developing a testimony in children- which then prepares them to continue that growth and knowledge as teens and adults. It is not daycare.
It is not simply something to entertain children while adults attend meetings.
Primary is a divine organization. Just as important and necessary as relief society and young women's and young men's and Sunday school. I feel like our ward does not share this opinion at all. And it is beyond frustrating. Primary needs some serious attention.
Sometimes I like to pretend I'm in charge :) and if I was- I would close primary in our ward.. Just for a bit. I would announce in a nice pleasantries that primary will not be held and that parents are responsible for their children. I would state that it is a divine organization that functions only when there is a willingness to serve- and that's not happening- so good luck parents! Good luck to all of us. Without primary where is the learned behavior of reverence achieved? Where do you first experience those tender feelings while singing a child's prayer? Where do you learn stories from the bible and the Book of Mormon? How wonderful are the skills of learning how to behave in a classroom setting before you start school? The multiple blessings and benefits that children attain from singing and learning new songs. Primary is so SO much more then what most think. Shame on them.
I might scream if one more Sunday passes and a new chorister isn't called. Not because I'm itching to stop doing it- but because that is an incredible opportunity for growth and service ands way to bring such a positive change to so many lives and there are individuals out there refusing to accept those blessings.
What in the world is going on?!

Other Sunday happenings-
Preslie hates nursery.
We were home for all of 3 minutes and Zane sprinted to the backyard and went "sledding" down our hill in his white church pants.
Our dogs got into the trash during church- in the trash was green sparkle acrylic paint from pre-church crafting- there was green sparkle dog paw prints ALL over when we got home. Mad is an understatement.
Preslie threw a fit about walking around with a Sippy cup of green smoothie. I used my best parenting skills and just let her have her bratty screaming crying way and walk around with the cup- the cup that I had to pull the plastic thing out so the smoothie would actually come out- well she left it on the couch sideways and it leaked. Everywhere.
Devin worked today. Church with 3 kids is not fun. Not even a bit. Not one morsel. In fact- I loathe it. More appreciation for all those parents who brave church solo with children. Yikes.
I was going to make some yummy pork chops for diner. Between the paint, the scrubbing effort to save Zane's pants- Preslie cutting teeth and being the crying-ist baby EVER, my primary rant and single motherhood at church- pork chops were traded in for raw veggies and frozen pizza. I burnt the pizza.
This too shall pass.
We do have some delicious sugar cookies.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

The why of it all

Devin worked 86 hours last week. In a 6 day span. I did my Mom stuff, I hit the gym at 5am,I lead primary singing time, volunteered at the school, had church planning meetings, and camp meetings and went to YWs on Tuesday, I had rehearsals for the ward talent show, watched friends kids, made a salad and a dessert for a fundraiser- plus laundry, chauffeuring, cooking, cleaning, paying bills blah blah. Busy. Busy.
But guess what-
EVERYONE IS BUSY!!!! So Put a sock in it.

We attended three hour church, I came home and made dinner then headed back to the church for meetings. I will be totally honest- I wanted to bake cookies, eat popcorn and watch any movie with my family. But instead I combed my hair, changed my high heels for flats, grabbed my 12 lb church bag and headed back- I have spent a total of 5 hours and 43 minutes at the church today.
Why? Why not just convince myself that family comes first and given our crazy week that I could skip this one out?
Here's why.
I had two full time working parents.
I had an inactive father.
I had a mother who demonstrated to me my entire life that righteous desires and doings are overlooked by Angels.
I had primary teachers who were consistent and prepared,who taught with love and patience.
I had music leaders who- despite my lack of true musical talent- instilled a sincere love for primary songs and singing. Songs that have brought peace and happiness and the spirit into my life on a regular basis.
I had phenomenal youth leaders. Woman who exemplified what I could achieve and aim for. Woman who sacrificed endlessly their time and talents for emotional, dramatic teenagers. For free! People who offered prayers in my behalf- who loved and cared about my well being. I was raised by amazing, hardworking, loving parents and family- but I was brought up by a community of true servants of the Lord.
I am forever grateful for those thousands of hours of service spent on me. I am grateful for Gospel Doctrine classes that increase my knowledge as an adult.
I need my children to have those same experiences.
I want and need to be the facilitator of those things that I experienced. I need my kids to see and learn thru example.
I want to impact the lives of others and have them feel the same,when the time comes for them to accept a calling.
Fulfilling a calling is easily accompanied by stress, children, jobs, busy-ness, frustration, and even lack of knowledge.
Willingness. That's it.
Serve because you love our Father in Heaven.
Serve as you have been served.
Serve as you would want to be served.
Serve as you would want your children to be served.
And for petes sake SUCK IT UP!
That's ll

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Picture This

This was about 8am. Got out of the shower and he was chowing down on ice cream

Always needs an accessory

Boxes are fun

Running laps at the church with these guys hot on my trail
NOT chewing my nails! I keep polish on them ALL the time and I leave them alone. 

Oh just having a fit. This one was over NOT wanting clothes on

A genuine Zane smile

GLASSES! For Brody. But Zane and Preslie had to try them on

Selfies with the littles. And Zane was MAD. I dont even know why. 

Hide and go seek with Zane. Craziest thing- Preslie is asleep in her crib while he hides!

Fancy for a party


Where I spend most of my Sunday. 
In the church entryway with this one

On a walk. Found "Perect" sticks that then had to come with us. 

Less happy... 
And MAD. All in about 10 seconds. 

Brody had an apple. Then he told me he put it in the fridge for later and not to throw it away.
This is what I found. 

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Motherhood cycle

Alarm goes off at 4:45am.
Wake up and go to the gym. Great workout that leaves me with wobbly muscles.
Arrive home just before 7am- everyone is awake and Dev is not a happy camper. Apparently all the kids were awake at 5:15am.
He leaves for work.
I am quick to become aware that none of these kids were ready to be awake that early... Either was I !!!
It is one emotional crisis after another.
"He took my spot, I don't want that for breakfast, Thats my toothbrush, I don't know where my homework is, get away from me, stop it, get her out of my room, make her stop crying, I hate those shoes, I had it first, there's nothing to do" And then a whole lot of fits by Preslie -whose current most common way to communicate is body language- when she's thrashing about on the floor.
Get Brody off to school at 9am and Preslie falls asleep in the car.
Come home and spray and scrub my oven- thanks to a pudding explosion on Sunday it is a MESS. Put it on self cleaner. Preslie wakes up 20 mins later in a worse state then she started- she then added to her problems by unwrapping and eating chicken bouillon cubes that do look an awful lot like candy- lesson learned, they are gross. Meltdown 5021.
10 am.
I spend a huge chunk of time trying to get her and Zane to sleep. The stench of the fume free oven cleaner at work is pushing me into crazy debilitating headache world.
The above scenario repeats itself for a few hours.
We head out to run errands and Zane falls asleep at 2pm in the car. Im relieved at my plan of getting P to sleep as well- she refuses and fights a nap tooth and nail. Her agenda is to follow me around crying, when I pick her up to snuggle she goes floppy and chooses to flail around on the floor, when I try to read stories she shreds the pages, when I offer her snacks or a drink she screams No NO and throws it. I give her to the nice old lady down the street. Not really. But wow!
I wake up Zane in hopes of a decent bedtime.
Brody comes home school.
I check on diner- only to discover the ceramic part of the crockpot has 4 huge cracks.
I transfer the mess into my clean oven.
Diner is going to be late.
Somewhere between 5-6 Zane and Preslie have both fallen asleep again. Details are fuzzy. Between the headache, the fumes, the crying, the frustration, I have no idea what is truly going on.
Devin comes home. Thank goodness!
8 pm Preslie and Zane wake up. I cry.
No no no no no no no no no

Brody is in bed and asleep at 8:30.
Zane at least will watch a movie.
Preslie continues her current trend of misery... And makes sure she has company. After Dev and I try 10 attempts at getting her in bed (it's nearly midnight) I bring her into bed with us. He gets mad. I get mad back and say then he needs to let her cry then! He won't/can't.
3 am I'm out on the couch. My head is killing me!!!!!!!
4:45 am my alarm goes off. Not doing the gym. Around 5 am Brody trots out happy as a lark,from a good nights rest, flips on the light, starts getting himself cereal and turns the radio on.
5:15am everyone is awake.
History truly repeats itself.
Heaven help me.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Spring Break

We have been more excited for spring break then summer vacation. Wow- we were ready!!! It seems like right around the 100th day of school celebration, attitudes get rotten. For the entire family. Sick of snow and snow clothes, ready for warm weather and school to be out, burnt out on schedules, routines and to-do lists. We officially had cabin fever. We headed to Idaho so we could meet Logan and Lindsey's new baby, Wesley. Oh he's cute. And tiny. And snuggling that tiny person made my uterus scream. Too bad Devin doesn't have a uterus- nothing about him is screaming for more babies. So it was good to get a baby fix. My Mom and Dad were in Idaho too. We had a great time seeing everyone, playing outside, decorating Easter eggs then rolling them down a hill until they broke apart and the yokes popped out. The Easter Bunny even found us all the way in Idaho. We went to church with Logan and Lindsey and were able to see old friends. We hit up outer limits, kiwi loco, Ross park for some rock climbing, Elmer's for breakfast and Brooklyn's Playground. It was a fun time. The boys and I did some spring cleaning at Grandma and Grandpas house while they are on their mission- the boys were fantastic workers and eager to give service. Logan and Lindsey are close to being done at ISU and heading off to Nebraska to finish dental school- it has been nice having them only a few hours away. We are getting REALLY spread out- makes me wonder how I can convince my kids to grow up, go to school, get a great job and move in next door.. Ok I'd settle for same block, ward, or even town. But I sure don't want them as far away as my brothers and I have ended up. The night before we were all ready to depart ways, Brody had a meltdown. He hates good byes. The poor kid is just a soft soul and loves being around family. It took about 10 seconds of him hiding under the blanket with tears for Grandma Honey to move mountains of plans and make it work to come to Evanston for 2 nights and then head home to Canada. She's a softie! But we loved having her and it was a great, quick visit.

Going for a walk...

Kiwi Loco.. again. Zane LOVES it!
blurry pic, but just cute 

The "duck-face" I made this face ALL the time when I was little. Pretty proud that Preslie has it mastered.

Easter Baskets...

Easter egg rolling

popcicles. It was SO nice!
Zane being such a great brother- pushed Preslie for a good 20 minutes. 

Handsome in their Easter clothes..

Me and Dev on a date

Rolling the eggs down a hill (a smith tradition)

Rock climbing at ross park

When Mom came to Evanston I had her help me try these stilleto cupcakes we are going to do for a YWs even. We had a blast and lots of giggles.. and hope that next time the cupcake making goes a bit more smoothly

Egg decorating..