Burn Out

I keep thinking that on June 1st I'll be ok. Just make it until June. The countdown has started (weeks ago).

Last night I crawled into bed at 9pm totally exhausted. Too tired for stories or prayers or laundry or dishes. My last ounce of anything spent on fake patience. I'm burnt out and frustrated and something needs to give and I have no idea what. I haven't had time to really blog- but here's a sum up:

PTA President

Full time school board attendee- 

PCAT commitee 

Primary President

Sit on the board of the Evanston Hungry Child backpack program 

Mom

Wife

Work- 2 days a week

Property Manager (I think that's over)

So hang on. See that order? I didn't do that on purpose but it's pretty right. I'm really not doing a good job of these priorities. 

My mind is consumed with school currently. Why do I have to fight and spend endless hours on research and state benchmarks and meetings before meetings to prep- becsuse I want my elementary kids to have art? Not kidding. They don't get art. They don't get social studies. The reading curric is a joke. Our district has substantial funds for talented and gifted in the ele level and there are zero programs for those kids. But the money is being spent. The administration is currupt and driven by personal interest and relationships- it's all a fight. It keeps me up at night. The more we dig, the more we find that is wrong. It's just wrong. The dishonesty runs so deep and there is no light at the end. Ignorance was bliss. How do I go back to being ignorant? I keep telling Dev, move, put me on a ranch of 100 acres and I will homeschool and mind my own business and stay completely unaware. I want the bliss. Instead I get phone calls and emails constantly from teachers and parents- we have late night meetings and brainstorm solutions, we spend so much time contacting state legislature and legal advice, we write FOIA requests and spend our own money to pull public records- will anything good come of all of this? I just don't know. We have such awesome resources in WY- we should be the best of the best, but tucked away in this tiny community, is a totally dysfunctional school district- and at the end, it's the kids who are being ripped off. In all honesty- my boys are fine currently. But I KNOW it should be better. 40 mins away in a different district, things are better. They have amazing opportunities that my kids aren't getting. Why? I can't stop fighting for what is deserved. I won't just settle for the lies and explanations. Im exhausted though. 

Last night I sat at a PTA fundraiser that earned $58.00. So defeated. 

I beg for volunteers. I beg for money. 

I feel like I have zero pride.  

We hand out 185 food bags every weekend to kids who don't have food if they aren't at school eating school food. It's heartbreaking. Tuesdays we pack bags, friday mornings we load them into cars and deliver them to the schools. Sometimes on Fridays I get calls from pissed off parents who think their child should have gotten a bag - but because they were absent they didn't. They seem to think that we should have given that bag to a sibling. I want to tell them they are ungrateful and entitled jerks. I never do. But believe me- it sucks the joy right out of something so good. 

I needed to vent. In private. (Sort of)

I'm not going to quit anything. But my goal is to rearrange. Find the joy in all of these things.. Strip it down to my motive of doing good. Hug my babies. Wash some clothes and keep counting down until June. 

Pack It!

How many lunches do you make a year? I'm going to guess that I'm somewhere around 250. That is insane. The boys will eat hot lunch on occasion. The other days we pack.

We have 2 types: conventional bag lunch and bento.

Bento worked well for Kindergarten and even is ok for Zane in first. It doesn't work for Brody. The bento just didn't hold enough. So we upgraded. I should have done planetbox years ago. But at 80$ for the complete set there was NO WAY! 

Well. I got just the rover box on eBay for 22$ thinking I would give it a try. Totally worth it! So hunkered down and sold a dress (that's how I do things- I sell off Ps clothes) and bought the full priced set and another insulated bag. 

Here's how this works. 

The rover is a stainless steel box- top and bottom, hinged with a pressure clasp to keep it closed. It comes with a big and Little Dipper that fit into one of the 5 compartments if you so desire. 

The rover has an insulated bag that you slide the metal tray into- in the bag there is a place for an ice pack and also a pouch for a water bottle. 

It keeps food cold, I've also done noodles in the Big Dipper, warmed up HOT and by the time lunch comes they are still warm. 

Other things. I like sneaking in notes- I disguise my love notes in jokes and fun animal facts so no one is embarrassed- but after they read my funny joke I know they see my little term of endearment or reminder to not be a jerk. It's a win win. I've downloaded the lunch notes off etsy- cute printables and cheap

Back is blank for a message 

Amazon has a ton but in my opinion they were not worth the cost 

Lately- I've been making my own. If I started off making my own- Brody and Zane probably would have ignored it. But now they know it's worth their time to check it out and share a funny at the lunch table. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? She will let it go!!! Hahahha!! Hilarious. 

Anyways. Get yourself a planetbox. Keep your eye on ebay for a killer deal. And don't waste your money on the bento because it's too tiny. 

Munch on Lunch Makers.

Oh! And the front are magnets and you can swap them out for a new look. That's fun. 

Baskets!

I have some significant things going on that are blog worthy- but I can't pump out the brain power to do that tonight- so how about my top picks for Easter basket fillers?? 

Get some in every kind!!!!! Thanks Allie for our newest obsession. It's a giant ton of shiny silly putty- and it's magnetic. There are other kinds- that glow, that change color- hyper color t shirt people out there?? Anyways. Love it! 

Cosmic coil. Allie again. It's equally hipnotizing as a slinky- but cooler. 

Let's talk about diva P for just a minute- I got her lipgloss on a necklace- but the necklace was a rope type thing and she was mad. It was not shiny. So here we go. The bunny is going to save the day and give her Icecream lipgloss on a fancy chain. 

Ps- let's talk bunny for a sec. I love Santa- that's about it. The rest of these guys are low on my love list. I don't push a big belief for the bunny. I don't even know if my kids think he's legit or not. 

So this is pushing it for me as far as Easter goes- we don't go crazy.. Because it's Easter.. Not Christmas. But I'm discovering that there are a lot of people who treat Easter like 2nd Christmas.. 3 months after real Christmas.  None the less- this has hints of cards against humanity in a total family friendly way. Super fun. Hilarious. 

One easter my Dad gave us all one of these and said sorry- I hit the bunny with a train. Morbid and yet so funny. Don't worry- we were old enough to not have it damage us. I still think it's funny to sneak in one of these on Easter. Nothing says happy like the gift of a lucky foot. 

Anyone?? Hello panda from your local Asian market. But there isn't an Asian market in the entire state of Wyoming.. 

So the only time we get to have these is one a year in our basket- so they are a novelty. 

Wide open spaces, maybe a sequined top, and some loud music and everyone is having a good time. I found these- not quite as fancy- at the dollarstore. My Easter bunny has stock in the dollar tree. 

I use to put the new Sunday clothes with Easter- it was making my boys so mad- because they hate church clothes so why would the bunny do something so rude? I don't do that anymore. Throw some candy in, kinder eggs, beef jerky, socks because we always need socks. Always. It doesn't matter how many pairs of socks I buy- we always need more! It's a phenomenon. And some money filled eggs- so they can buy their own dollar tree treasurers. Hoppity Ho! 

Oh..

Whoops! Blogging has been neglected. 

Logan and Lindsey and kids came for a visit before Christmas and I got to love on Emmy Jane. She's the cutest, cheekiest, happy little thing.

Zane turned seven!!!!

His best gift was having his BFF Max in town to celebrate with him. We went to soldier hollow and the train place in Heber. 

Christmas church clothes 

Gingerbread class party for Brody. The girls were so meticulous about their decorating... The boys were not.

Christmas we headed to Canada with a stop in poky on the way and from. 

Hoverboards! So fun! No fires, no injuries, lots of use, me and Dev need one for ourselves :) really- so much fun!!! Glad I didn't listen to the haters. 

Of course Chary love 

We have been doing a lot of this. Skating and hockey. Preslie is not a fan of the outdoors.. We are working on it. Honestly, she is just going to have to figure it out because we spend a huge amount of time outside! Suck it up buttercup. :)  

In other news I just sold a dress for 2200$ that I paid 58$ for. Crazy I know! These women are collectors and lucky me, I have the rare goods :) My shopping talents are really paying off. (Currently much better then our other stock investments) 

We came home to frozen pipes. So that has been an adventure. I currently don't have kitchen floors or a dishwasher. We figure while we are in a state of chaos we might as well just do a kitchen reno with the cupboards as well. We hate projects, we are not DIYers. I would much rather be outside. So stay tuned on how this all ends up. 

He's not an inside cat. We got Jingles a heated cat bed so I don't feel so obligated to let him inside. But it still happens. 

Anyone want a cat???

Devs had some out of town work stuff so we joined him last week. It was needed. I've been a stress case- and I don't ever get stressed! But really, I've developed insomnia and can't ever turn my brain off, PTA fundraiser is my current mind jam and it's become obsessive. I need it to be over with- so that means I should be able to resume normalcy the 2nd week of February. 

Some happenings with the kids. Swim lessons for Pres and Zane and Red Devils swim team for Brody starting in feb so that's exciting. We have a new love- snowshoeing! We have so much snow! SO MUCH! And it just keeps coming. The more winter fun we have, the less I ache for summer. So this is good. There are groomed courses at the golf course we practice on and have started venturing out in the back country. I really enjoy it! 

I think that's it.