Memorial Weekend

I wish I had pictures of beautiful grave side visits and flowers or some memorial tribute we attended.

I Don't.

Instead I have slivers and scrapes, dirt under my fingernails, a sore back and a big dip in my bank account and a pile of trash.

I also have some pretty flowers, tanned arms, a slightly more eye appealing yard, and my clothes smell like campfire because we have been burning wood and yard debris.

My boys truly know the meaning of a hard days work- I made them move rock and re-stack the wood pile. Unfortunately they didn't get that good feeling of gratification after a job well done- they are still grumpy I was such a slave driver.

I have hope that one day my yard will look beautiful- that's improvement because on Friday I didn't even have hope- I had given up and was ready to post a for sale sign in the yard.

Rules to live by

Don't buy a house when the yard is covered in snow and you have no idea how scary and awful it is underneath.

While pulling weeds, moving rock, spraying weeds, planting flowers,and moving trash I had time to think- maybe thats the therapeutic aspect of yard work- anyways, I thought a lot about loved ones who have passed on.

I thought about my Great Grandma B who was just cute and sweet and forgetful- a school teacher and artist.

My Great Grandma Smith who had an incredible testimony.

My Grandpa Miller who I wish I would have known better, and my Grandma Miller who demonstrated hard work.

I've been thinking of Dev's Grandparents, some I never had the opportunity to meet and wish I would have, his incredible Grandma Dora who was just a delight to be around- smart and witty and close to the end took up cursing like a sailor- old people and cuss words make me giggle.

I've especially been thinking about my cousin Nate. Wishing I had more memories with him, grateful for the ones I do have. I've been thinking about his family and how hard things still are for them-so many questions they will always have and how there is a void now that will never go away in this mortal life. His tragic passing happened right before Mothers Day. He was in a state of sadness that I will never understand. My heart continues to hurt for my sweet Aunt and uncle and for Nate's siblings. It has made me more aware of people around me, a new found desire to reach out to the quiet and shy ones- to offer sincere and Christ like love. Nate was a giver, he was genuine and kind, and I miss him. His passing has brought our entire family closer together- its helped us all to think more of one another, to strengthen and renew relationships and to make sure we all know how much we all love each other.